Mittwoch, 23. Januar 2013

♥♥♥ (Ich weiss kein Titel)

Wie man sich selbstzerstört weiss ich ganz gut, klappt auch prima.
Meine Grundstimmung ist dennoch gut.
Körperlich fühle ich mich bescheiden.
Krabbelgruppe - schrecklich.
Anspannung steigt.
Ich bin gereizt.
Ich will weg.
Furchtbar müde.
Das erste Gespräch bei Frau S. 
Ich strahle - wem mache ich was vor?
Niemandem! Höchstens ein klitzekleines bischen ;-)
Treffen mit Manuela.
Ein wenig Angst ist dabei - Erwartungen nicht zu erfüllen.
 Bin ich interessant genug?
Runden um Runden geschwommen.
60 min lang.
Ich fühle mich immer besser.
Freier.
Ich lache.
Ich habe Spass.
Wir reden und liegen im Wasser.
Es war schön!!
Zu Hause.
Hausaufgaben mit Felina - es geht! Es wird!
Ich liebe meine Kinder!
Ich esse zu viel!
Warum??
Ich mag heute nicht drüber nachdenken.
Ich fühle mich trotzdem ganz gut.
Müde.


Im Gespräch mit Frau S. ging es heute darum was meine Ziele sind, was ich bei ihr, mit ihr für mich erreichen möchte. Sie meinte ich bin schnell fähig zur Aufnahme, begeisterungsfähig, interessiert, motiviert. Ich habe viel gelernt in der Klinik und muss mit diesem Wissen nun umgehen und arbeiten lernen. Wenn man sein Werkzeug nicht benutzt verlernt man die Handhabung könnte man sagen und das möchte ich auf gar keinen Fall. Ich möchte stabil in mich werden. Zu mir stehen und ICH sein! Sie sagte das ich stark zu zwei Seiten polarisiere. Das eine oder das andere will und dadurch ständig in einen Konflikt gerate. Ich will es so und so und doch wieder ganz anders. Ich will alleine laufen und doch die Hand die mich führt .... Ich weiss nicht ob ich es kann. Mir fällt es noch immer schwer an mich zu glauben. Aber ich will gerne alles versuchen und ausprobieren. :)

Morgen ist Skillstraining. Ich freu mich drauf.
Als Hausaufgabe hatten wir zu beantworten was es bringt "die Suppe die uns jemand eingebrockt hat selbst auszulöffeln"?!

Ich denke es bringt Selbstwertgefühl, weil man Verantwortung damit übernimmt. Sein Leben in die Hand nimmt. Es macht frei, weil man sich von Schuldzuweisungen löst. Gedanken daran was einem "angetan" wurde und wer alles Schuld hat, zermürben ein nur. Ohne kann man glücklicher sein. Gelassener und zufrieden.Ausserdem gibt man positive Lebenserfahrungen weiter und nicht das was man selbst erfahren hat.

Schlaft schön! ♥

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    Das Du Dich gut fühlst finde ich klasse, kann ich von mir nicht sagen, bin wieder am Essen gescheitert ;-(
    Egal ich wünsche Dir morgen viel Spass beim Skilltraining und ja Selbstbewusstsein, ohne den Gerechtigkeitssinn an erster Stelle zu setzen...
    Schönen Abend Dir

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Ich freu mich so über nette Worte :)